Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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