he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
