kristin has been a bad kristin
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
