Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I smell like Dick and happiness
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
