Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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