I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
