mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
