Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
