i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
