Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
