Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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