I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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