my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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