I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
