Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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