I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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