I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
