I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
