what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
