i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
