If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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