You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
