I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize