dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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