Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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