Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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