Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
