Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize