Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
