I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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