On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
