two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
This house was built for laser tag.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize