Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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