i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
