You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
