How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
