Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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