So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
