It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
