508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So much rum. So many feels.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
