that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
