he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
