PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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