I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
