Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
