these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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