he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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