Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
