so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
