What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you win again, gameday.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
