It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
