I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
