Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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