I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
