I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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