with your own penis?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
