I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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