dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dignity is for republicans.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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