Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
